Rain On My Parade Cuz My Hearts Already Soaked

Smooth Sailing

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 17:05:18 GMT

shits been going good thursday Frank came over and yeterday me and Angie smoked weed, had a shaving cream fight and chilled with Mairead... i went to the mall last night with Lauren and Angie fun shit but the mall was bare... Andrew was there soooo i was really happy:)
Chris Colons Party today hopefully its (as the gangsta people say) ON AND POPIN!

***AND UNTIL IM ALL DRYED OFF***

it was like running for your lives....

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 19:31:50 GMT

today was terrible... i dont understand how such a great day (in the begining) could turn into a living nightmare.... well i guess ill explain....I got out of my first period final at around 9:45 and i met up with Angie and Taylor then Frank and Sandra... honestly i was really nervous... cuz I was going to have a conversation with KENDRA... like i knew in my heart she wan't gonna hurt me again but my head would not listen.... so i guess having people with me made me feel more comfy....

anyways... we all walked outside... and i met up with Kendra... we didn't have the conversation i would have liked... we were supposed to talk about.. something but she had to all of a sudden leave soo we just never really got a chance to talk... she told me we would talk... sometime before skools over... but honestly i dont think thats gonna happen... oh well.... so me and Taylor and everyone else just walked to the arena to smoke.. and we met up with Greg and he was telling us the funnyest shit about people... omg i almost peed myself it was sooo funny! well we just chilled there until Laceys boyfriend Anthony came.. hes a sweetheart and hes a keeper soo lacey you better keep him even though I know you will! finally the sophmores were out of theyre finals soo we all walked to Antonios... and got a party size and large pizza... omg it was yummy! well we ate all the pizza and decieded to start heading back to skool... but since we were all lazy we just cut threw the park...lol we had a smokers race a thon! to see how fast us smokers could run... lets just say i lost! well we got to the park and we just sat down... we were all just goofing off and being stupid...until

A GIANT GROUP OF GANGSTERS CAME

honeslty i knew there was gonna be trouble...but like i dind't think it would accutually happen.... well as some of the gangsters walked buy they punched my friend Frank in the face with a boxing glove....but since hes a sweetheart he didn't do anything...then i guess one of the gangster gurls took my friend Tiffanys purse... and started going threw it and throwing stuff... Tiffany was really upset but they ended up throwing her purse back at her....at the point like 5 gangster guys started attacking my friend Billy... just beating him.... he managed to get up and run but they ran after him...meanwhile another guy tried to steal Shannons purse... but she was different from Tiffany she fought back but she ended up gettign droped on her back on the cement....we were all really scared like we all never really saw anything like this before... well for me all this was very new to me.

everyone was running it was like running for your lives...just to get away but none of us went that far cuz we wanted to make sure everyone got out safely....but

then it got WORSE... anthony got pushed... and right when he got pushed he swung back... and then a HUGE fight broke loose... there were like 30 guys on only anthony... just punching him... roger jumped in and whacked one of them in the head with his skate board... to try to get anthony free... it did work but when roger came out of the pile of bodyes his nose was bleeding and he was cut up bad... all the gangsters where pretty preoccupoded since one of there crew members was down with a hole in his head so we all walked away thinking it was over...

all the girls... my self including where crying... i never screamed but i thought it was over.... until i looked behind me to see a huge fat ass gangster right behind anthony... i remember screaming... "LOOK OUT"But he didn't hear me the gangster pulled him down and then seven of them were just kicking him... all over his poor body.... in his head too...it seemed like they were doing it for hours and all you could here were screams... and under the screams was anthony saying "please stop!"but they didn't. Ej ran to go call the cops and i guess when they heard Ej say they they stoped and ran off....

we all crowded around anthony and i just looked down at him... tears were falling from my eyes... he was hurt soo bad... and it was hard to get him back on his feet again.... rogers whole body was scratched and his nose looked broken...

we all ran to Sully cuz he was outside... but he told us "leave leave" we jsut needed help... i dont think he understood the reality of like what just happened until he saw the guys all torn up... and bleeding... but he was still an asshole...all he did was yell at us... like it was our fault.. like we started it... i mean I know we shouldn't have been in the park but come on.... we need your help and we are all crying be alittle less harsh ya no...

peoples parents started to show up... yelling at the Quebecs i thought people were gonna get arrested.. its like no one would listen to us... like we were there we saw it we know what happened... and they wouldn't do anything... i hate cops i hate springfield skools... its like they give a shit if ur skipping skool but when a group of kids come running toward you screaming and like in need ... they dont give a fuck... thats wahst supid... i swear to god everyone was getting so frustrated with the cops.... they should do there jobs and stop eating donuts!!!

fucken cops

fucken gangsters!

Just another day

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 23:35:11 GMT

today was fun... I can taste the last day of skool so perfectly now.... its soo close.... and Im sooo excited... i cant wait for this shit to be over... and today is the beginning of Finals week... i've been waiting for this day for a while... everyone that I have talked to says Finals week is the most fun... so lets see if they are correct!

AnYwAyS...

i had a normal day i went to the arena as usual... smoked alittle... then i took a huge sip of this girl Tiffanys acholic beverage... it was tasty....then off to first period I went... I deffinatly needed that boost cuz I was sooo blah before I drank it... spanish was first it was sooo effin boring... like seriously spanish is one of the things Im deffinatly not gonna miss... i hate that class! especially the teacher... gosh shes a wench... and shes soo bi polar its scary....thank god that class ended fast... LOL math was fun! there is this gurl in my math class that is really well crazy... she snaps at like any minute... well anyways Micah was just being stupid (as usual) and he threw a dry eraser bored eraser at her... then she snaped... she started cussing then started chasing Micah around the room screaming.... I was sooo scared for Micah... cuz this is one Chick you dont wanna mess with.... when Mr.fulty (lol) realized all the caos that was going on he eventually kicked out Micah and wrote him up :( i was sad... so me and Mairead tryed to take the right up slip but that didn't work... i tryed to save you Micah

lol but i did get the chance to raid his grade book... i guess my grades okay now :) im soo sly... it scares me

english was fun we watched Grammer House Rock as a review for the final... thank god we watched it cuz it really did help me!

Lunches were fun... hope you noticed I made lunches in plural... its just that I hate gym so me and Lacie just took a day off....and the lunches were fun some poor girl got her purse stolen I felt really bad cuz that shit sucks! I got drunk and high at second lunch and I was sooo completely out of it! after third lunch i felt a tap on my back and i turned around and it was KENDRA

I was sooo scared honestly I thought I wanna gonna get punched again... but all she said was "HI" to me... i was sorta confused but whatever... honestly Im scared that shes gonna try to get close to me and then jump me when Im completely oblivious to it. but all im gonna do is becarful

english finals wasn't as hard as i thought it would be. only the long comps...they sucked I hate writting... specially on shit I have no clue about.... I finished pretty early... so i just sat there listening to music until the final bell rang....

Gather Around the Camp Fire....

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 18:08:48 GMT

Jeez this weekend was fun... lol it was filled with lots of unexpected twists and turns... but like omg this was one of the best weekends I've had since the boston pride weekend...

Friday: skool went by sooo slow.... it think the heat is getting to everyones head.... like seriously our weather totally changed over the course of a couple weeks... like it seems like just yesterday i was freezing my ass of at the arena... but now its all hot and sticky.... im not sure what I like better.... the cold or the heat.....idk i guess im an inbetween type of person...... anyways... its so hard to concentrate in skool when its hot... finals week is gonna suck because of it... cuz like instead of thinking about the question im gonna be worrying about how hot I am.... ehh... oh well... well finally the bell rang and i was finnaly home....(thank god) i was excited cuz i was going to danielles to chill... and go to the mall... well i got droped at her house at like 7:00 and we got to the mall at like 8:00. not alot of people were there.... but angie was so we just chilled with her.... she was drunk out of her mind... it was soo funny... i wished the person i wanted to be there was there but they weren't so ehh it was fine.... lol after the mall closed we just walked around boston road... we ended up going to Foody Goody fucken chinks lol it costed us 40 bucks which sucked...but oh well lol...danielle picked up the tab since shes the high roller in the family... after we ate it was like 10:45 and we just chilled and smoked til midnight when her mom came to get us.... when we got back to her house we ate alot and me and danielle took a walk.... we just walked all over.... we were on Newberry street and we saw this huge ant hole...with like 8 million ants.... so we just burnt the mother hole lol.... i hate ants! after we burnt them it felt like they were crawling all over me... i hate tha feeling more than anything... its like when you see a gross nasty spider.... and then u try to kill it but it runs away... so ur all like..."eww is it on me" ew... that feeling sucks...! after the walk we went back home and ate freeze pops and fell asleep at like 4:00... i was soo beat!

that morning we just watched napolean dynimite and i waited til my mom came to pick me up....when I got home I just chilled by my self... since my mom went to a party... then Angie came over.... and we just smoked... and waited for Sam to come over... when Sam came we just went swimming....Chris Alferi ended up stopping by for about an hour and me and him chilled together inside while they were swimming... fucken never heard of knocking.... lol ! well it was awesome to chill with Chris becuz I haven't chilled with him since January and it felt good to see him again... well he had to leave cuz i wasn't sure when my mom was to come home... so after he left me and Angie and Sam ate some food... then Angie went to go pick up Sam Bodley....Sam was really excited that Sam Bodley was coming over....in my mind I was all like dude.... shes all wraped up in her boyfriend thingy... and I didn't want Sam to think that something could go down.... cuz like ehh idk. Sandra ended up coming over aswell... for some reason I was getting sooooooo annoyed with people... I have the worse tolerence with annoyence... i get annoyed easily and like sometimes I can have the WORST temper....but whatever I bounced out of my mood fast

anyways they came over and we swam until like 8:00 (when my mom came home) while we were swimming Sandra and Sam Bodley thought it would be funny to pants me and de-top me while I was swimming.... lol fucken cocks held my bathing suit hostage... but eventually I got it back.....at one point I got really happy cuz my mom said we could use the Tent tonight.... omg it was gonna be sooo fun... but we needed food... so me and angie went to the store and we saw Bri (nudge nudge Angie) we got a shit load of food... then we went home to put up the tent.... it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be... mom made hot dogs... and after we ate we just chilled in the tent... Sam Bodley was gone to Feo's so sleeping outside was better too so she wouldn't have to worry about being quiet when she came home....she came home at like 11:00 and we just chilled and we were being stupid and like the usual! Angie pushed me in the water... i was freezing like I thought my titties would fall off... thank god they didn't lol cuz that would be strange.... lol speaking of titties we all made up alittle remix to the Britney Spears song "Lucky" but our song is called "Saggy"

"shes so saggy, shes a wench...but she hang hang hangs in her walmart bra...thinkin' if theres nothing missing in my bra then why do my boobs sag alot?"

rotflamo!!! omg good times! anyways we stayed up til like 2:30 i mean like I was the first to bed but I was soo tired from the night before.... Danielle wears me out! lol at like 5:30 in the morning... all I heard was Runt (ugly cat) meowing at the tent... fucken nasty cat... there was no way in hell I was letting it in so I just hit the sides of the tent til the "thing" left.....sadly it didn't stop meowing til like 7:00 so going back to sleep for me with like impossible... so I just was lieing there... thinking... about everything.... and how skool was so close to being over.... i cant believe its over in like a week... its sooo overwhelming.the sad thing is that i dont think the bridges I've burned will be rebuilt....but maybe next year things will be okay just one day at I think right? I was also thinking about how I have grown so much from this year... like If I look back a year from now... or even to my very first entry in this journal I was so far from the person I am today...i was so unexperienced in life...and I mean I know I haven't experienced everything In life but this year was a rollercoaster of highs and lows... and i got a taste of everything..... and I dont think I would change anything That happened.... but i guess maybe the one thing I wish I could have done was view my life out of someone elses eyes... maybe then I could see the whole perspective instead of just mine.... maybe then the mistakes I made wouldn't have been to damaging... but like I said time will fix it... it always does... after my thinking I got hungry so I ate a sticky bun... then everyone woke up and we chilled and swam... it was soo fun....

now Im just sitting in my basement listening to music and waiting til my mom comes home so I cant dye her hair for her... then Im going to Katies dance recitual... i dont really wanna go but my moms making me soo might as well fuck it and go

****and until soon...****

Its Been Years....

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 21:35:41 GMT

woa buddy its sure been awhile since I've updated this thing... which is sad cuz alot has happened... but ehh oh well... i have been to some kick ass partys and they were pretty fun.... im single.... no big deal.... nothing last forever.... and i dont think my heart was a hundred percent in to it anyways so no lose i guess.... its sooo fucken hot.... theres like a fucken heat wave... and it seems like im in the middle of it.... i need to get wet....(not in the nasty way) i have to go to six flags sooo I just wanna chill in the water park... i think im going on thursday with Frank... not to sure on that one though

omg today was sooo....

NORMAL

nothing incredibley exciting same ol same ol..... skool is almost out THANK GOD! but finals are next week! im sorta excited... only becuz after them we can leave and chill but im wicked nervous.... i dont wanna fail... but ohwell if i do good great if I dont I know I did my best... as the end of the year creeps closer... all i want is to rebuild the bridges that were burned a couple months back i mean im not gonna go out of my way but hey it would be good to end a year with NO grudges cuz its alot harder to hold a grudge then to forgive someone. but if nothing gets fixed then it was never ment to be... ya know

I have a nigg crew.... lol NIGG T!!! HEE HEE LOL TAYLOR LOL!

Today= Fucken sweet

Wed, 25 May 2005 19:28:32 GMT

today kicked ass! the past couple days have been great... i was soo

happy cuz Monica came to the Arena to see me it was wicked kool...

i didn't bring my ID today... thanks to E.J. i got a temperary I.D. hes awesome!!!

well nothing too exciting today... Kendra gave me the evilest look today when I saw her at her locker... but its all good... cuz It doesn't bother me anymore.. i have so much to be happy for right now...

My kittens soo cute... its meowing at me

Lacey f....e...l...l..

today in GYM it was soo funny... cuz E.J. was chasing her and lol she just fell... i tryed not to laugh but I was right there to pick her up! Sammy goes out with Nate which is good so finally (Im hoping) she can move on and be over Angie....

Lifes Great!

I made a survey yesterday and if u look in the comments all the responses are there...

**and until the fat lady sings...**.

Fed Up....lol...

Mon, 23 May 2005 21:13:52 GMT

today was awesome oh yes and yesterday i got a new kitten.... shes sooo adorable her name is Cassie... shes my little baby.... shes black and white and she has cute baby blue eyes... i fucken love it.... lol my mom was gonna name it Lacey.... lol I was like
"oh hell no!" lol everytime i would look at it and call it Lacey I would prolly see Laceys face on the kittys body.... lol

AnYwAyS....

Today was fun I only went to 4 classes... and I went to all 3 lunches... and chilled with Samantha (my girlfriend lol) and all the other Skippers....I got a note from Monica.... it was pretty cool and very flattering.... lol Samantha and Xavier were fighting over me like seriously I was being pulled like a rubbbbbbbbbber band lol...

im so cool lol

I skipped last period with Peru and Xavier it was fun we just chilled at the park, smoked and played with the sex dice.... it was deffinatly very fun....:::winks::::

well im playing with Cassie<3 and shes so cute....

****AND UNTIL TOMARROW...****

This weekend equal fucken PIMPIN!

Sun, 22 May 2005 20:49:44 GMT

This weekend was awesome....alot of great shit happened... and it just shows me...things DO get better... you just have to give it time... and my time was this weekend.... it was unbelieveably pimpin!

Friday: skool was interesting... but nothing to exciting... i got a note from Kendra... same ol' same ol'.... nothing to surprising so i was okay with what ever she had to say to me.... honestly i just wish she would have given me the note and not Frank... but hey what can you do... the past is past and its no big deal.... like sometimes I just wish things were okay again.... like with everyone... but theres one thing I have learned and thats that you can never change what people think... people have there own thoughts about shit and you have to respect that....and its best to stay out of things and let things work out themselves....but anyways... skool was skool and before I new it last bell rang and I was on the bus going home.... i was soo happy to be home... i had the most confusingest week in a while... im not used to that confusion.... but im glad its over and closure finally came and the door to that part of my heart is closed... and this time I can finally say for good! well anyways I went to the mall with Sam and i got my goodies... and i chilled with Andrew (fucken Sexy) for awhile and like i finally got the nerve to kiss him and like "wow" i was smiling the whole night.... lol well anyways Lacey and Moe Moe and the usual people where there and we all just chilled and smoked and it was my mission to keep Lacey in control becuz someone she has problems with was there and like I dont want Lacey to go crazy....but I do love her to death shes amazing! the mall was deffinatly alittle crazy....specially when I said bye to Sam B. (LOL wink wink)... well after the mall Sammy came back to my house and we just chilled all night watching "Different Strokes" and being stupid.... i was sooo excited for Boston Pride so I went to bed all early lol...

Saturday: Boston Pride.... so freaken fun! well I woke up at like 8:00 and smoked a ciggeratte and then jumped in the shower...then I did my hair and woke Sam up....(since she was coming) she is sooo fucken hard to wake up but evenually she was up and we were in the car driving to Central...When we got there... the only people that were there were Monica and Joey (the greatest gay guy in the world and my new best friend!) so we all just ended up walking to the store and I bought my self a nice Red Bull to start off my morning... by the time we got back to Central like 20 people were already there....lol.... the only shitty thing was that Northup wasn't going but oh well....the bus ride there was sooo fun I sat in the back with Sandra, Sam, the other Sam, Angie, Lacey,Angie,Erica,MoeMoe.... and we all ended up playing truth or dare... lol... like everyone and there mothers were kissing it was sooo fun! then we all started singing and then the "Back a da Bus" was born!(the name for the crew in the back of the bus!) we took a rest stop about an hour in to the drive and I was happy cuz I needed a cigg soo bad... then I bought french fries and they were yummy... then back on the bus we went....

when we finally got to boston we walked around for about 20 minutes then we started marching in the parade... i love the feeling i get when Im in a youth pride march.... i dont knwo I just feel so happy to be apart of it... until some stupid ignorant slob gave me a paper telling me gay people are going to hell so after i read that I burnt it with me rainbow lighter.... I hate people like that... they fucken suck giant balls.... they need to die! after the parade the "BACK A DA BUS" went around causing havoc.... then we got hungry so we went to mcdonalds... fucken never seen that many asians in one place.... i was getting soo frustated... all i ordered was a number 7 and the fuck herajuku girls took 20 minutes to give me my order... and Lacey was about to have a shit fit as well lol... damn fucken herajuku gurls i hate them... then while I was waiting with Lacey I noticed this lady next to me who had a baby in one of those carryers from the front.... and I wanted to see if the baby was cute.... and so I motioned myself so I good get a good vew but then I noticed something.... the baby wasn't real... it was a doll.... and this Lady was like 30 something... i got soo weirded out...me and Lacey started laughing soooo hard... it was just creepy.... well we got our food and just sat down and made a mess... then we left to once again cause havoc....for the rest of boston we just all hung out listening to music, smoking.... and bothering people.... it was raining alittle and my hair puffed up so I had to wear Perus Hat.... but I still looked mad cute

at like 4:30 we all went back to the bus and then we were off back to springfield... al the windows were fogged up... lol. this girl Sam (10 grade) wrote "Jenna is my girlfriend" on the window... lol it was funny.... i have a big feeling she likes me...then Sams sister wrote "back a da bus" on the back window but her dum ass mest up so in the end the "S" looked like and "8" so the name was changed to "BACK A DA BU8"....the bus ride home was very interesting... we all played truth or dare again and this time it was to the extream. people were given people hickeys on there titties... 3 people were kissing at the same time... and not to mention people were attacking me with there lips.... but ill leave all the horney details out! lol....:::Smiles:::

we had one last rest stop and i smoked and bought a sundae but the fucken mcdonalds people didn't putany fudge on it... that fucken sucked...then back on the bus and we played truth or dare til we got home....

it was deffinatly a long day and after all that I made out with a total of ....::counts:::: 8 people.... thats 8 people to add on the my record... can someone say pimp?!

apperently after I got picked up from Central that girl Sam I thought that liked me... told people I was freakin hot! and other people agreed too... i know I am sexy!

Today: today was boring I went to fucken Allisons gay ass bridal shower... I hated ever minute of it... it was so long and it just sucked

well this weekend was hot to death lol.... tomarrow skool... ehh it sucked but I think Im getting my yearbook either tomarrow or Tuesday so thats hot

***AND UNTIL TOMARROW...***

Ehhh....

Thu, 19 May 2005 20:20:09 GMT

well this entry is gonna be alittle different... im not really gonna summerize the days I've missed... cuz honestly nothing too exciting has happened... i mean its not like my life is dry and dull cuz thats the least of what my life is....but like nothing really happened that could like make me smile... like i used to smile....but its not like im happy... cuz i am happy... im just empty... and as usual EMO!

The past couple days have been sure torture to my heart.... and its not like what it was, was bad... cuz thats the last thing I would call it....but its just twisting my heart into feeling things... that im scared to feel... but i want to feel these things.... im not gonna let my head get in the way of my heart....but at times i seriously question what the fuck I can possibly be thinking... its like im nuts or something... cuz any normal person would never feel the way i feel after everything that has happened... but no I have to be difficult...and its like I pray every night for something "understandable" to happen to me... but things just end up getting MORE confusing....all i can ask is "why"

Wed, 18 May 2005 21:39:53 GMT

Very sorry I haven't written in a while but its not like anything oober exciting has happened... ummm PRIDE MARCH on Saturday which should be fun.... i burnt my tongue .....ouch

YOU GOT THIS SILLY WAY OF KEEPING ME ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT!!!

Tue, 17 May 2005 01:11:43 GMT

I wanna hate you so bad.... but I cant stop this... anymore than you can.

You got me right where you want me!

***shit never gets easier.... but this time im straped in and im not falling...***

Its Been A while....

Wed, 11 May 2005 20:21:22 GMT

hey guys... im sorry I know I haven't written in a while and i bet it makes some people sad... but its been hard for me to go online the past couple days... due to being grounded or lack of internet connection... but Im here and I have to right alot so expect a looonnng entry...

well last friday... i was in soooo much pain cuz of my ankle... gosh it really hurt so during G period i just figured I couldn't deal with it anymore so I went home... which was a smart idea cuz it delayed getting my report card so at least I knew I could enjoy my weekend without getting screamed at by my mom... well anyways when my mom picked me up we drove around buying stuff for her co-worker Kevins surprise party... we went all over and it was a long day of being with my mom.... cuz being with her for long periods of time isn't to fun lol. she did ask about my report card but i reassured her it was good so she did let me go out that night...well anyways I went to the mall with Sam and her friend Trevor and it was fun... i meet up with Angie... and Angie was with Maureen.... which (as I figured) would start a problem... as soon as Sam saw them together she flipped... I mean I understand what Sams feeling but acting immature about it isn't gonna make it disappear... but ignoring it wont either.... as I saw Sam make a fool out of herself i just watched and sighed.... it worrys me much to see her so upset because seriously its like Sams middle name is "xtream" she takes every little thing to the highest point and I know I can do that but ehh i guess seeing someone in "xtream action" makes you think twice about acting like that....well anyways i ended up buying 2 shirts from Hot Topic and i bought some shoe laces there aswell... then when I was outside I met this boy Axel... he is nice and kinda cute too (smiles) well anyways we did end up xchanging numbers he is wicked nice but way to old for me and plus I like someone else and Im not gonna let him get in the way of what my heart feels... so the last time he called me I told him that and he is okay with it... so me and him are just friends....
Saturday: Kevins Party... it was wicked fun... Sam came to keep me from being alone and me and her had a serious talk about making an attemp to let go and try to move on... i looked her straight in the eyes and I could tell what I said bothered her... but I had to tell her the facts and what is true... ya know? i think I did get threw to her.... or at least I tried... I mean cuz it truley hurts me to see her upset cuz like the only thing I know that will make her happy is unreachable now... so it hurts cuz I cant help her....but I can help her move on... and sooner or later she is really gonna have to close the door pack up and move on... but anyways... the party was fun.... a DragQueen came (since Kevin is gay) and it was hilerious! but for most of the night me and Sam chilled with my Brother and his Girlfriend and this girl Maggy playing cards and drinking.... it was funny cuz every time I took another sip my brother looked like he would throw up... I mean cuz he had never seen me drink before... he annoyed me alittle that night... being all "brotherly" but oh well.... Sam didn't leave til like 1 and at like 3 I finally crashed and went to sleep.... cuz I was wicked sleepy
Sunday: Mothers Day... I spent most of it with my mom of coarse lol... and we went to a cook out or a cook in cuz it was drizzeling alittle outside... nothing really exciting happened so I guess thats all I have to write about today
Monday-Today: I got my report card... it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be ... my lowest grade was a D- and like my mom was upset but she let me slide... so now Im grounded from the internet (hee hee) and I cant get phone calls past 8 but at least I can still go places! Classes have been the usual... nothing exciting... cept something that happened that is truely pissing me off I am sick and tired of shady ass people that do stupid things behind there supposively "friend" like seriously the word "shady" isn't something you what to discribe you... its just disgusting how people can act sometimes... and this time Im just gonna sit back and watch this disaster strike... cuz I am not in it and I know Im not the one getting hurt this time. I dont know how she can go around knowing this is all happening with a smile STILL on her face... its unbelieveable... shes sooo strong... cuz I would have broke the moment I heard all this garbage... it just shows that once again people can be soooooo cold! speaking of cold... some bitch ass mofo (lol) stole my pack of ciggerettes... i was soooo pissed off... but the following day my friend Kevin bought me another pack so it made up for the ones I had lost.... Oh yes, I talked to my English teacher about my writing and like i told her my "whole" story and like it was awesome to talk to someone older about the "Real" story nothing cencered out... only the facts...it just felt better....anyways today was uniform day and like im sooo glad Caputo didn't inspect me... i hate him soo much I am sooo glad like in 2 weeks his ass will be gone and I wont have to deal with his annoying self anymore... and like today i was getting promoted to "2 STRIPS!!" and like all the AS4'S were supposed to shake hands with the people getting promoted... so tell me why he skipped shanking hands with me? he... uhg i hate him! oh yeah back to being shady people are being shady towards Frank and thats fucked up... but oh well some people you cant change so I just told him to forget about them and not to let them get to him... cuz they are not worth it....and they never were....

Dan is awesome... I have been talking to him alot the past couple days... and like he is sooooo sweet the only down thing is that we go to different skools .... but maybe in the summer we will be able to see eachother alot... and hopefully pretty soon we can go to Six Flags or something together cuz I love talking to him... he is a sweetheart... and a cuty and he makes me feel wicked awesome... like seriously when he calls me I get the biggest smile on my face....i really like him :::blushes and smiles:::

Gonna include a great song by Taking Back Sunday:

"Bike Scene"

I'll leave the lights down low
so she knows I mean business
And maybe we could talk this over
Cause I could be your best bet
Let alone your worst ex
And let alone your worst...

I wanna hate you so bad
But I can't (but I can't) stop this
anymore than you can

So honestly, how could you say those things
when you know they don't mean anything
And you know very well
that I can't keep my hands to myself,
hands to myself

I wanna hate you so bad
But I can't (but I can't) stop this
anymore than you can

This is all wrong and it shows
There's certain things I promised not to let you know,
(I've got a silly way of keepin me up on the edge of my seat,
I've got a silly way of keepin me up on the...)
not to let you know
I never, never...

You've got this silly way
of keeping me on the edge of my seat
But you're only counting the clock against the train
And I'm miserable, oh
(I've got a silly way of keepin me up on the edge of my seat,
I've got a silly way of keepin me up on the...)
And you're just getting started
I'm miserable, oh

You've got me right where you want me
(let's never talk) Let's never talk, let's never,
let's never talk about this again because...
I didn't want it to mean that much to me
I didn't want it to mean that much to me
I didn't want it to mean that much to me
I didn't want it to mean that much to me

Anyway... yeah

*********************************************

Flagging of the graves tomarrow should be fun... and the play im gonna go to... well im thinking about it... cuz ehhh well its not important....::sigh::

AND UNTIL TOMARROW!

Crushin' on Someone.... and some surveys...

Wed, 04 May 2005 23:00:09 GMT

Been to a Backstreet Boys concert - yes i have and im proud!
Been on a plane -like 10 times lol
Been on a cruise - im going on one this summer!!
Went swimming in the ocean - yea every summer

Been to Europe-nope
Been to Mexico-no
Been to Canada - yes i have and it was sooo fun!
Been to China - ehh no
Been to Alaska -nope
Been to Australia- not really
Been to Japan - after watching the grudge my ass is staying away from anything chinesse looking
Been to Korea-no and i dont plan on it
Been in a school play -yea but i was never anything good...
Gone to Church - every sunday and im forced
Watched "Dawson's Creek" - no
Seen a grizzly bear (not in the zoo) - yea i was attacked by one at school lol
Been to Lake Powell- ummm what?!
Gone skiing - i'd die
Gone snowboarding - same as above but i'd die worse
Been on a motorcycle or motorbike- does a motor scooter count
Fell asleep during a scary movie - yea then i was rudly awakened
Never slept during a night -god at Kristens house we never sleep
Played field hockey - i dont think so
Played soccer - for 5 years bitch!
Played baseball - naw i cant catch to save my life
Been to a Major League Baseball game - i think once when i was a baby
Sat in a suite at a basketball game- umm no
Seen the Harlem Globetrotters-on t.v
kissed a guy\girl - both
Gone to Applebee's - mmhmm only once though
Eaten fish- naw i dont like sea food
Eaten caviar - i dont eat things i cant spell
Seen someone die (not in a movie)
Met a celebrity - yea the guy who plays 007
Met the president- no and i dont wanna cuz the only bush i trust is my own
Sang in public- in front of my friends or in chorus
Driven a car - yea once lol i almost got into an accident
Didn't wash your hair for a week- thats just beyond gross
Been to all 50 states- naw i only been to like 5
Broken something valuable-mmhmm my moms champain glasses
Disobeyed your parents- yup i do that alot
Missed a day of Church - yea but rarely cuz like i said my mom forces me
Skipped school - yea once and it was sooooo fucken fun!!
Your teachers have been on strike- i think some of them were last year
Broken through ice - umm i broke ice with my teeth does that count?
Bought ice cream from an ice cream truck - i used too wen i would come down my street
Used your parents credit card (with permission) - yea and without permission
Gotten a cavity - i had 4
Broke your arm- no i never had anything broken... besides my heart
Been given stitches - yea 7 in my bottem lip
Shopped at Abecrombie and Fitch - yea i love that store but its expensive
Shopped at American Eagle - yea that place is cool too
Shopped at Old Navy - i used to alot but not as much
Not filled out a chain letter - most of the time i just erase them
Been to the top of the Statue of Liberty - no i wanna though
Dunked a basketball- only wen someone lifted me up
Wrote a story and had it published- no but i wanna get some of my poems published
Filled a piggy bank - no i always break in to them so they never get to even be closed to filled
Walked down 5th Avenue- down where
Read "Gone With the Wind" - i dont read
Danced in a ballet recital - yea i danced for 5 years
Built a snowman - yea every winter
Went to the Olympics- no i watched them on t.v.
Went to Africa- umm no
Drove over the Golden Gate Bridge - isn't that the mcdonalds french frie thing?
Milked a cow- it was a fake one
Husked corn - yea i feel so country wen i do it
Carried a real koala bear - ummm who does that?
Saw the Northern Lights- no
Been to a runway fashion show- naw yo
Went to the Smithsonian - nope

Just Another Day In the Life Of Jenna

Wed, 04 May 2005 19:37:01 GMT

today wow today was great... everything feels like it used to... like how it was at the begining of the year.... just besides the fact some people dislike me but what can i do? nothing... i just have to live my life and forget about the negitive stuff... cuz theres so much more positive things to keep my mind off all the other shit. and like now i have a whole lot of new friends and i got closer to older ones and that makes up of the friends I've lost sooo in the end its all good....

Mairead told me to print out that poem i wrote and entry ago and to show it to my english teacher anf honestly im glad i did... my english teacher said she really likes it and who knows i could go far with my writing... well at least she said i could....

I got a note today from this chick saying i looked good at the pride march and like wen she gave it to me i was like "huh" cuz i have never talked to her before... it was nice to get a compliment... it brightened up my day lol

Lunch was fun and so was english... me and mariead and vanji got to paint and it was fun! i was sooo scared i would get paint on my uniform but it was good i didn;t... we played "untimate frizbee " in Gym and it was stupid... really stupid... but i enjoy gym cuz i like talking to the people in my gym class

I saw Will today on my way from the Bus Stop... he is such an asshole lol but hes hot... and he has a killer body lol

repot cards friday....ehh... i did bad... i guess grounded is what im gonna be... oh well...

right now im just talking to Dan and honestly i think i really like him but sadly he goes to a different skool, why does that always happen? i always like people that go to different skools... and last night I talked to Justin... yea he got my number from Bri and he is wicked kool.... he is soo hot and me and him are alot alike but i think I like Dan alittle more... cuz like i can totally have any conversation with him and it will be fun....:) and plus hes a cuty:)

***AND UNTIL TOMARROW OR LATER OR WHENEVER I WANNA.....***

and in the end I thought I'd die but without her Im A-OKAY!

new poem tell me if u like it!!!

Tue, 03 May 2005 23:11:07 GMT

this poem is something i wrote a couple days ago when i used to feel this way but im fine now and everythings perfect and im okay... skool is awesome... angie and moe moe go out :) im super happy for them....and my right one will come and when they do i'll be ready...i will deffinatly be ready!! so heres a poem i rote and idk just tell me if u like it... or if u didn't...idk i like constructive critisim... and i want to really make it clear that i dont feel this way now...okay!? lol well here it is hope u like it!

UnFinished Thoughts

by:me of coarse

confusing yes... ill call her that
despite everything she's done
yes I want her back
forget the cuts, my scars, this broken heart
im lost with out her.. she fills up this empty part
and although she thinks i do not care
in my heart her name will always lie there
and it seems no one quite gets how I feel
but when I was with her she made all my dreams feel real

rip off my bandaid (do it now do it fast)
expose my wound (all my scars that will forever last)
I cant stand being without you
hopefully I see you soon
turn out the light
goodnight my dear
my bed is so lonely
with out you lieing here

Signed off with out me saying "hey"
I got to scared so I put it off one more day
what would she want with this useless heart?
Im nothing special... and she made that clear from the start
Replaying the memories that we shared
when we kissed.. when we hugged
thats when you "used" to care

rip off my bandaid (do it now do it fast)
expose my wound (my scars that will forever last)
I cant stand being without you
hopefully I see you soon
turn out the light
goodnight my dear
my bed is so lonely
with out you lieing here

cry my eyes out

its u im with out

cross my name of your heart

leave me here with my empty part

are u happy... cuz u hurt me so?

no matter what...why cant i let you go?

why do i want her back?

self esteam is what i lack

but true emotions is what I feel

my heart wont mend after it felt something real

and in the end its not to clear

goodnight my dear, i wish u were here

rip off my bandaid (do it now do it fast)
expose my wound (my scars that will forever last)
I cant stand being without you
hopefully I see you soon
turn out the light
goodnight my dear
my bed is so lonely
with out you lieing here

why can I...?

why can you...?

unfinished thoughts will have to do.....

they will have to do...

**********************************************************

**And until tomarrow bitches lol**

Pride March....

Sun, 01 May 2005 23:25:23 GMT

Yes i know I haven't written in a while... my brother changed the password on me so I've been sorta lost without it...

well today was great.... we had northhampton pride march and Centrals GSA went... i got to skool around 10:00 and we left at 10:30... the parade was fun i held the flag for like 2 minutes before i handed it to angie... cuz it was heavy... lol... well the parade was over and we just chilled in this giant field thingy and there were lots of venders and i bought many pins... like "bi american" and some other ones...

for most of the day i was with Sandra,Angie,MoeMoe, Lacey and we just chilled and walked around and smoked... we ended up walking to the PRIDE store and we were looking at porn and then Kevin opened up "THE TOY CHEST" and he was playing with a 60 dollar dildo... and me and sandra found "our bible" and it was soo hot....:) then there was this pond thing and me and angie and sandra went swimming in it and it was sure alot of fun lol

I saw Chris Colon and he was looking fly and Mikey was there and he is sooo awesome!

there were lots of performences and they were all wicked good... im glad i went... and like it was just plan ol fun
Taylor and some other ppl performed today they did some dance thing... i could tell she was sooo nervous but she did a wonderful job and so did everyone else!!

being there in a giant gay comunity i felt so... right... like i felt in place... everyone is so nice and like i think like if the whole word was like that.... i bet it would be better

I have been anyway from her for a while but tomarrow shes back and thats gonna suck!

Another Survey... cuz Im very Bored

Wed, 27 Apr 2005 01:01:32 GMT

Fill out and send back to me then send an empty one to everyone
to have them fill out

THE BASICS*~
Your Name- Jenna
Nicknames- Jenn-Jen
Birthday- 11/13/89

~*HAVE YOU??*~
Been kissed? oh yes thousands of times
Eaten an entire box of Oreos? yes sadly... cuz im a fatty
Been on stage? for dance yes but not in a long while
Gotten in a car accident? nope thank god
Death Valley on horseback? where....? on what?
Stayed home? yes... hasn't everyone
Made homemade fudge? no but I've eaten it
Seen the Eiffel tower? in pictures does that count

~*FAVORITES*~
Shampoo: Suave
Soap: Dove
Color: Blue... the pretty one in the crayon box that starts with a "C"
Day: Wednesday
Night: Friday
Band: oh god I have alot but im really into DashBoard Confessional right now
Season: spring cuz everything is growing new again
Commercial: those french poptart ones
~*YOUR FRIENDS*~
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? i did... but im riding single now
Do you have a crush on someone: ehh... i dont know if u would can it that
Do you have a best friend? yes i do
Do you rank your speed dial in order of favorite friends? no in alphbetical
Who's your funniest friend? Mairead
Who do you go to the mall with the most? Sam or Angie
Who do you e-mail the most? Angie
Who have you known the longest of your friends? Sam and Nicole
Who's the loudest? LaToya
Who's the shyest? Krystyna
Whose parents do you know the best? Sam's
Who do you go to for advice? Meghan Goodine
Who knows all your secrets? Sam
Who do you get the most surveys from? my self
Who are you jealous of? ummm no one really
Who do you cry with? no one i dont like ppl to c me cry
What is your usual quote? "the past is done so u have to work on the future"

~*IN THE LAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU*~
Cried? yea
Eaten fluf? no
Helped someone? yea
Bought something? yup chips
Dissected something? no... thats kinda weird
Cut your hair? no
Worn a skirt? nope
Worn a tie? naw
Been mean? sorta
Been sarcastic? yes i sorta always am
Gone for a run? a walk... a long walk
Gone for a walk? oh yea lol
Gone to the movies? nope
Gone out for dinner? naw
Been kissed? YES MA'AM
Felt stupid? mmhmm i do mostly all the time
Said "I love you"? to my mom... thats it
Written a letter? does an email count?
Written a paper? nope... why would i do that??
Taken a test? no i didn't go to skool
Met someone new? does cops count?
Moved on? im trying... i really am... and i times i think i have
Written in a journal? well yes cuz my live journal is my journal duh
Watched your favorite movie? no
Talked to someone you have a crush on? yea...but its sorta like "had"
Given someone a present? yes i gave a kid 2 ciggerettes
Missed someone? every day i miss her
Hugged someone? yea
Had a nightmare? no cuz I've been awake
Fought with your parents? no not yet
Fought with a friend? yea im sorta in a fight right now
Been Scared? yea wen i went to my friends funeral

~*WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU*~
Showered? 2 hours ago
Ate a meal? 4 hours ago
What are you wearing right now? aero pastle jammies with yellow ducks on them
Are you tired? yea i walked liek 7 miles
Are you lonely? yea sadly
Are you happy? sorta not as happy as i was
Are you wearing pajamas? yes i am
Are you hungry? no not really
Are you eating? nope
Are you talking to someone online? yes i am i am talking to lots of ppl
Are you ready for this survey to end? sure y not
How long did this survey take you? 15 minutes
*Do you want all your friends to do this and send back? i could care less

WELL YOU'RE NOT DONE!!!....

>>>>FAVORITE STUFF>>>>

Type of sandwich: turkey
Coffee or hot chocolate? hot chocolate
Cold or hot? weather? hot
Big or little? BIG
Lace or satin? lace
Red or blue? blue
New or old? new
Here or there? under

OK YOU'RE DONE!!!!!

A Long....Weird.....Day....

Wed, 27 Apr 2005 00:04:02 GMT

today was deffinatly a day ill remember....well... it started off normal... i went to the arena today to smoke and like everything was fine... until i see krystyna.... and im like "wait she dont go here" and she asked me to skip skool with her today... i was hesitant at first but Angie desided to skip with us so i felt alittle more okay with it... its not like me to skip but like i never did it so i was like "why not" "what trouble can we possiblely get in too?" so off we went.... man i was wrong... alot of bad shit happened....but i guess its my job to explain... so here I go

we started walking away from skool and not even ten minutes into the walk... wen we started crossing the street... Krystynas arm gets hit by a red SUV and i was like oh god! well anyways we walked to this forest thing... and it was sorta far away... but it was nice in there... like there was this little cement block thingy to sit on... and we just chilled there and smoked.... after a while it got alittle cold so we desided to make a fire... as the fire burned all the notes... the notes i once carished... i began to think back to every time i read those notes... and how they once made me feel...but i burned them for a reason... to forget.. to forget about the past and move forward...i guess it was my way of fully letting go... after a while we got bored and hungry cuz that fatty (krystyna) ate all the food so we desided to go to STORE 24 to get some food (big mistake)

after we got our food we were about to walk back to the woods wen cops rolled up next to us... and like seriously i hate cops....
they were all like
COPS:"WHAT TIME IS IT"
US:"11:30"
COPS:"U SHOULD BE IN SKOOL, WERE DO U GO...??"
(dont ask me y I said this but I said....)
US:"WE GO TO DUGGAN"
COPS:"YOUR ALITTLE LATE DONT U THINK"
US:"UMMM..."
COPS:"STAY IN SKOOL... AND GET OFF THE STREETS"

after that they left and we were all like "wtf" so we started to walk back... we finally got back to the woods at like 11:40 and we were bored yet again so we built a fire....this fire didn't last as long... cuz some dum ass old women was walking her dog were we were.....who walks there dogs deep in the woods? idk... so we tryed to put it out by stepping on it... well we thought it was all out... until i felt i hot sensation and appenrently my jeans caught on fire and my foot was burning... OMFG it hurt and it was sooo hard to hold in my screams... but the dumb thing was Krystyna was sitting right in front of me with a bottle of Aquafina... and im like "PUT ME OUT!!!" after like 3 straight minutes of burning my leg was put out... after i calmed down I looked at my leg and it was all puffy and red....

we then desided to leave... cuz we thought that old hag called the po po's on us for the fire.... so we were once again on our walk... this time on side streets cuz we thought we would be safe... until i hear Angie say "omfg the cops"
so they once again rolled up next to us and said...
COPS:"I THOUGHT U WERE GOING TO SKOOL?!"
US:"UMM WE WERE"
COPS"DUGGAN IS 2 MILES AWAY...!! IS THERE A BOY UR SEEING... DO U 3 LIVE AROUND HERE?!"
US:"NO!"
COPS:"WHERE DO U LIVE THEN?!"
(at this point we gave the cops our addresses but for some reason i dont think they thought we lived were we said we did)
COPS:"EITHER GO TO SKOOL OR GO HOME!!!!"

finally after like 10 minutes of talking with those nasty cops they let us go... i had the biggest fear that they were gonna make us go in the fucken car with them... and bring us to duggan wen we go to Central.. but thankfully they just left... oh yeah they also said something about how they were getting calls about break ins and they thought it was us! omg no i dont steal and i dont break in... lol w/e

we finally took the cops advice and we headed home... Krystyna parted ways with us and me and Angie started to walk to my house (since no one was home at my house)... but on the way... we thought we would take a side street cuz we thought it would be faster... but it only got us lost lol...20 minutes of walking in a complete circle we finally go were we wanted to be... until we saw... COPS!! luckaly they didn't see us... so we just continued on walking back to my house...

we didn't end up getting to my house till about 1...right wen we got in i colapsed on my bed... i was tooo beat and my foot killed... so me and angie just watched Degrassi on "ON DEMAND" and ate Mac n Cheese... until she had to leave....

well i sure learned alot today... like fire hurts wen ur leg is on fire... to make sure to stay away from Red SUVS and cops are gay!

anyways i went to my friend Ashleys wake tonight... it was soo sad she was only 16... it was kinda scary... i mean she was my friend... friends aren't supposed to die!! she was amazing... but looking at her in her casket really freaked me out... she wasn't as beautiful as she always was...she looked plastic and like it was different... ill never forget her... she was amazing...it just sucks god had to end her life so fast...but I will always remember her... and ill never forget the times we had.. cuz memories are all i got... so i have to charish them...

***AND UNTIL TOMARROW...***

oh yeah theres this song I've been stuck on for the past couple days I shall include it... cuz its very good:

**DashBoard Confessional**
"The Good Fight"

Consider the odds,
consider the obvious.
The martyr is meaningless,
the campaign has died.
In the planning stages and the fallen faces
are the singular proof that it was ever alive.

This purchased rebellion has been outbidded,
denounced and rescinded and left to die championless,
championless, championless
I begged you not to go.
I begged you, I pleaded.
Claimed you as my only hope
and watched the floor as you retreated.

Hope has sprung a perfect dive
a perfect day, a perfect lie.
A slowly crafted monologue conceding your defeat.

Does it comfort you to know you fought the good fight?
Basking in your victory,
hollow and alone
to boast your bitter bragging rights to anyone who'll listen.
While you're left with nothing tangible to gain.

Seems like I can finally rest my head on something Real

Sun, 24 Apr 2005 22:56:24 GMT

1)Name- Jenna Marie Manzi
2)Nicknames-Jenn-Jen or just plain ol' Jenn
3)Birthday- 11/13/89
4)How old are you then- umm 15
5)Hometowm- the 413 nigga!!!
6)Town you were born in- Springfield
7)What do you look like- average body...36b boobs...brown/blonde hair... light brown eyes...cute face... nice complection....
8)Are you hansome/beautiful- i have heard i am very beautiful
9)Why or why not- BECAUSE!
10)Family members- my mom... and my brother... and i gues my brothers g/f counts...
11)Fave relative- my cuzin Danielle...WAT WAT!
12)Least fave relative- Jeff... hes boring and reads to god damn much
13)Is the #13 unlucky/lucky- Lucky... or at least it always was for me
14)What time did you go to bed last nite- aroung 10 on skool nights
15)What did you do yesterday- smoke weed
16)What did/you doing today- chilled with people smoked more weed
17)Fave place to eat- Olive Garden
18)Fave food- pasta...swedish fish...gold fish
19)Fave drink- red bull
20)Fave numbers- 13...11...420
21)Do you drink- yes sir
22)Do you drive- not yet
23)If so,what kind of car- i dont drive
24)Did you dye/highlight/lighten your hair or anything- yes i have dyed and highlighted my hair thousands of times
25)What are you wearing in your school pic- a black slutty dickies dress with fishnet stockings
26)Worst thing you ever did- let my heart get broken 3 times in a row
27)Best thing you ever did- swim with Dolphins
28)Fave radio station- 95.7
29)Fave TV show- Degrassi
30)Fave room in your house- my room
31)Fave season- spring
32)Whats on your mousepad- i have a laptop :(
33)Do you have a scanner- yes i sure do
34)What kind of computer do you have- DELL
35)Do you have a mic- yup
36)Do you have ICQ - no clue what that is
37)If so,whats your ICQ#- ummm 67565329 (i made that up)
38)Are you wearing nailpolish right now- no but my nails look wicked good
39)If so,what color- none
40)Ever stolen something- yes
41)Do you like this survey so far- its okay... boring but okay
42)Ok,lets play a game i say a word and u say what u think of-
43)chocolate- pudding
44)spice- suger
45)taco- meghan goodine (sry meghan)
46)pretty- ugly
47)hot- Taylor
48)cold- ice
49)lemon-lime
50)coolatta- summer
51)pink- highlighter
52)email- chainletters
53)hacker- bitch!
54)ocean-water
55)sun- sky
56)Ok, lets play another game, I say a name and you say who u think of
57)Bob- Mairead
58)Rose- Sandra
59)Justin- Justin (hot guy from bris party)
60)Delilah- ur mother
61)Ricky- Sam
62)Jenna- Jenna (ME)
63)Joe- Nicoles gross boyfriend
64)Jamie- Angie
65)Ron- Alyssa
66)Tabitha- Toya
67)Mark- Moe Moe
68)Britney- Lauren
69)Anthony- Anthony
70)Christina- Kristen
71)Brian- Dominique
72)Maria- Yelena
73)John- John
74)Katie- Kat
75)Tiffany- Chelsea
76)Shawn- Chris
77)Megan- Micah
78)Tammy- Spencer
79)Bobby- Carissa
80)Tim- Tim Garcia
~~~~~~~LasT Time You~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
81)Spoke- 2 seconds ago
82)Showered- earlier today
83)Ate- 4 hours ago
84)Cried- about an hour ago
85)Kissed- earlier today
86)Laughed- today
87)Wrote- friday
88)Typed- umm im doing that now
89)Studied- month
90)Drank- 4 days ago
91)Fought- does being hit count... 4/15
92)Ran- a week
93)Walked- everyday
94)Hiked- 2 months
95)Coughed- this morning after i took in to much weed smoke
96)Rode a bike- 4 days ago
97)Rollerskated/bladed- 7 months
98)Iceskated- 3 years
99)Bought something- friday
100)Were sick- 2 months
101)Tell Me Which You Would Rather in the next questions ok-
102)Forwards or Chain Letters- Chain letters cuz they give u something to do
103)White or Black- Black
104)Strawberry or Lemon- Strawberry
105)Chicken or Turkey- Chicken nigga!!
106)Red or pink- Pink
107)Soda or Pop- soda
108)Blonds or Brunettes- i hate blondes so deff. Brunettes
109)Make-up or No Make-up- in the middle i hate girls with alot of makeup
110)Straight or curly- i like straight but curly is cute
111)Summer or winter- summer cuz then theres no skool
112)Spring or fall- spring
113)Christmas or Easter- christmas
114)Valentines Day or St Patrick's Day- niether... im not irish and love blows
115)Pretty or beautiful- beautiful
116)Hot or Sexy- Sexay
117)Tall or Short- in the middle
118)Long or quick- long
119)Chocolate or vanilla- depends
120)Private or Public School- public
121)Religious or Spiritual- spiritual
122)Half Empty or Half-Full- aren't they the same
123)TV or Radio- Radio cuz i <3 music
124)Walk or Run- walk
125)Drive or Walk- Drive
126)Crowded or Empty- Empty
127)Lefty or Righty- Righty
128)What was your most embarassing moment- getting punched
129)Best friends- Sam, Angie, Mairead,Sandra i have like alot of good friends too... the whole best friends shit seems so clingy... i just like having alot of good friends
130)What did you do on New Years- chilled with some friends
131)Do you have mIRC- excuse me?
132)Fave car- hummer.. or Lexus
133)Fave shampoo- Suave
135)Fave colours- Blue, Black, Red, Silver, Purple...
136)Who sent this to you- no one i got it off line
137)Any last words- love sucks
138)How long did this take you to fill out- a good 20 minutes
139)Are you glad you're almost done- it doesn't bother me
140)Who is going to send this back- honestly i dont give a fuck
141)Whos not going to send back- i still dont care
142)Fave place to shop- the mall
143)Do you have an Mp3 player- yes i do
144)What mp3's do you have, if so- just a bunch of mixes
145-You're done!!! Good Job!!

Sun, 24 Apr 2005 20:28:28 GMT

Survey Your Friends 2
Okay, here's what you're supposed to do. Copy this entire e-mail and
change all the answers so they apply to you....then send it to everyone you
know, INCLUDING the person who sent you this. So you should get
back a lot of other get-to-know-you e-mails, too. You'll learn a lot about
your friends that you maybe didn't know! REMEMBER SEND IT BACK
TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who are you?

1) First of all, how old are you? :my ass is 15 gonna be 16 this year hells yas!

2) Do you believe in reincarnation?: sorta like maybe im not sure like i never been reincarnated so i wouldn't really no... but i guess anything is worth believeing

3) Would you rather be deaf or blind?: i would rather not be either but i guess deaf cuz the world is to amazing not to be able to look at!

4) If you found out your best friend was gay/lesbian, what would you do?: nothing if there happy thats awesome.... u have to love ppl unconditionally no matter what they are... that just shows ur a tru person and ur understanding

5) Do you consider yourself a good listener?: well thats a toughy... wen people give me advice i dont normally listen.. i like to try things out om my own... and then if i fucked up it will be my fault... but if people need to talk to me about them and there problems i am all ears.

6) Would you rather be short or tall?: in the middle... not midget not giant...and i always want my man taller than me

7) Would you rather be overly happy and poor, or overly wealthy and
happy?: well if im happy and rich i guess thats okay... its not like i would pick money over being happy but if i could have both thats great.

8) Would you consider your relationship with your parents bad, okay,
good?: well with my dad... wicked bad... me and him can talk at all.... but with my mom its alright... i cant tell her everything

9) Do you like to dance?: OH YES I DO.... but i cant dance to save my life

10) Are you shy to ask someone out?: sorta like i find myself a very shy person... unless i know the person likes me... but im not very random... im scared of rejection

11) Do you like to talk on the phone?: yea i can be on for a long time... but if i cant hear the person or they are boring... ill hang the fuck up

12) Would you rather go on a walk or watch tv?: if it was a nice day sure... or if i had a cigg...

13) What's your dream honeymoon place?: Paris or Hawaii some place fun and beautiful...

14) What would be the first thing you'd change about yourself?:my body... i wanna be thiner...or the fact i smoke... wait scrach that... i dont care if i smoke... i guess just being thinner

15) Do you think boys or girls have it easier?:boys they dont have to have watermelon like objects coming out of something the size of like a golf ball... plus they dont have the bloody demon that haunts there pussays ever month

16) If you had a round-trip ride in any time machine, where would you
go?: prolly about a month ago... thats wen everything was okay... and peaceful... but in the end i wouldn't change a thing

17) If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? i would go in the boys locker room...hee hee... then i would fuck with people minds... then steal thousands of packs of newports froma local convenience store... and egg/tampon peoples houses.

18) Do you like Adidas, Nike, Fila, or Reebok [or any other brand]?: i like lots of brands... i wear everything from NIKE AIR to Converse... so i love everything

19) If you could change your name, what would it be?:honestly i like my name but i guess if i could change it....i would like... Nicole or...Vicky... w/e ill stick with Jenna

20) If you were in a theater and someone was crying, would you laugh?: no i would feel bad... but are they crying cuz of the movie?

21) Have you ever thought you were going to die?: emotionally yes....but physically no

22) What's the hardest thing about growing up?: love... love sucks...why even fall inlove when more than 50% of relationships dont last... its stupid

23) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Would you ever?: i have a pool so yes i have... and its fun!

24) What little unknown talents do you possess?: im not talented maybe my sweetness... or idk

25) Would you eat a bowl of live crickets for $40,000?::::vomits alittle::: but yea i would cuz moneys money and i would buy cool shit

26) If this Saturday, you could do ANYTHING you wanted, what would
you do?: take all my close friends in a limo to a concert then smoke lost of weed then kill all the bitches that ruin my life

27) What's the worst word(s) you know?:I love you... they never mean it... or maybe faggot i hate that word

28) If there would be one thing about yourself that you could change,
what would it be?: didn't i saw my body?!

29) Have you ever wanted to run away?: Run where? i never ran away but i guess i would run to sams or angies cuz they are close

30) What's your worst fear?:spiders....being alone

31) What is your dream car?:pink hummer with ashlee simpson in the passagener seat and crowm 26" spinners

32) Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?: mmhmm and im proud of it

33) Have you ever felt you were in love?: yea a couple times....sadly

34) If you were stranded on a deserted island with one person, who would
it be?:Mairead... cuz we could make anything we found a drug...!!

35) What is your favorite color?: the pretty color blue in the crayon box that starts with a "C"

36) What guy/girl do you want more than anyone else?:Guy:Spencer
Girl:Ashlee Simspon or Nikki Reed

37) If you could be any animal what would you be?: a moutian lion... cuz there beautiful and strong...

38) What is your favorite gum?: Orbit White

39) How do you eat an Oreo?: twist it apart lick the cream out then eat the cookie

40) Do you eat chicken fingers with a fork?: ummm no thats finger food to me

41) Do you eat the stems of broccoli?: i dont eat broccoli so i guess i dont eat any of it

42) If you could do anything to the person you hated most what would it
be?: tie her down and make her feel all the pain she ever put me threw...while i whisper words in her ears.. then...prolly drown her dum ass in the bathtub and...then cut her body up with a chain saw then.... put her pieces in a box.... smoke ciggs and ash on her face then lock the box up then drive to the zoo and make the lions eat her body... wow thats grafic... im done now

DOB:
Sex: female
Height : 5'1 ish
Hair Color: blondish brown
Eye Color: brown
Location: here
School: Central
Pets: 2 dogs and 2 cats
Dream Job: a lawyer or idk someone that helps people
Fav Music: everything
Fav Movie: cruel intentions....thirteen other movies
Fav Food: pasta... swedish fish....gold fish
Fav Subject: english
Fav Sport: swimming
Least Fav: running
Fave Month: Novemeber
Fave Holidays: Xmas and Halloween
Fav Toothpaste: Crest

Rain On My Parade Cuz My Hearts Already Soaked

Sun, 24 Apr 2005 19:49:26 GMT

past couple days have been great... bris party was fun... like it was good to chill with ppl i dont normally get to chill with alot... it was very fun.... me and angie and sam and bris brother and Justin<3 baked the car with this hot water bong... it was very pretty... and colorful.....i liked it....then at like 10:15 my mom picked me and sam up and we went back to my house and ate lots and lots of food....and just basically stayed up all night.... doing absolutely nothing....

then on saturday me and sam went out to eat with my mom and my cuzin... it was fun we went to Chilis and the waiter was soooo hot omg! lol then after that we came back to my house then went to Daves for Xtream DDR and we played for like 4 hours and trust me that takes alot out of u lol.....

today angie came to sams and we smoked more weed and watched some movies.... pretty normal :::wink...wink::: lol

this vacation has been pretty awesome... like i was so glad it came wen it did ... i needed time to think and be with friends and just get my mind off what had happened at skool that Friday... and now skools tomarrow and i know people are gonna come up to me and ask about the "fight" (in quotes cuz that fight was stupid cuz fights are stupid) and im just gonna be like... only psycho birds fight and i have better things to do then fight... and hopefully it blows over... cuz its SOOOOOOO dumb!!

****AND UNTIL MY HEART DRIES OUT...****

Bris Party!!!!

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 02:24:48 GMT

well ill right about this later but i just wanted to saY:

JUSTIN IS SOOO SUPER EFFIN HOT AND I WANNA DO HIM.... HE IS SOOOOO BANGING OMFG!!!!JUSTIN = HOTNESS!!!

4/20 MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 15:02:32 GMT

Vacation is going so great... honestly i dont think it could have came at a better time... cuz i needed time to focus on myself and just have nothing to really worry about... and this vacation has been just that...so im just gonna do a quick little summery of the past couple days until now to get my self up to date with my writing.... so okay we will start with Sunday

Sunday: sunday during the day i just chilled home... cuz i had to help my mom around the house.... i deathly wanted to excape cuz being in the same room with my mom for like an hour is torture.... so i was just praying someone would call or plans would come up.... well anyways Danielle ended up talking to me and we made plans to chill at her house for the night... i was excited cuz me and her are nuts together... I got droped off there at around 5 and we just smoked alot and went crazy... i went online and talked to Kendra and since she lives so close to Danielle we desided to meet up... yea i know im a dum ass for being sooooooo forgiveing but i guess thats a good quailty about me... it was very awkward talking to her when 2 days before she punched me... but after awhile it felt like normal ya know? well we all just chilled for and hour and then me and danielle headed home....we did end up seeing Kendra later that night wen we all smoked an L together.... me and Danielle were gonna throw kectupy tampons at things but the bag is still on Kendras street. after we smoked i was sooooo fucked up... i am like a human jutbox wen im high... like seriously i was singing everything... "what it is yo whats good? can a playa just keep in touch?!" lol that was one thing i kept saying... it looked like Kendra was giving me "the look of disgust" i think it was cuz i hit her with a stick lol.... im sorta happy things are semi okay now.... i will always forgive but never forget... and in my heart...deep down... i guess my feelings will never change
well anyways the walk back to Danielles was fucken hard... i tripped... and i hurt my foot and i was walking in to things... then some random guy was trying to talk to me and i was like "GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" sunday was a good day

Monday: i got home from danielles at like 3 and i stayed home til about 5. then I went to Sams Aunts house w/ Dave for some Game Night thingy... it was fun... but i hate being outside at night wen theres bugs... eww it annoys me and i HATE misquitoes... those little fuckers piss me off so bad... we ending up getting back to sams at like 9 and we just talked on the fone with Angie and Sandra and then they said they were gonna walk over at like 1... so we were like okay!
those dum asses (my self included) fell asleep but they did end up coming but at like 3... and my self was fast asleep until angie smacked me with a sweatshirt... ehhh i wanted to scream but i just got up went out side and lit one up... cuz thats just wat I do... they only stayed for like 30 minutes cuz we thought we heard sams mom... so then i walked my self back up those stairs and i went to bed..!!!

Tuesday: Angie and Sandra came back over Sams at like 10:30 and we were out side for most of the day.... we went to the park and smoked alittle and then we were just walking around.... we saw "someone" and after we finished talking to her we were like "DAMN HER BOOBS ARE SOOO BIG!!!!" its tru they really are... we are such losers.... then we just went back to Sams and watched "Half Baked" and i was like falling asleep... so then i went home... and just basically chilled and smoked and talked on the fone all day..

well now we are all up to date and today im going to 6 flags with Lauren and Sam so that should be fun and later tonight.. well everyone knows what u do on 4/20!!!

****UNTIL MY INTOXICATION WARES OFF****

Poem...

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 20:32:05 GMT

****Foolish Hearts****
by: Jenna duh!!!
theres nothing left when you're gone
you packed up ur heart and you just moved on
closed the door and walked away
crying, on my knees I beseech you to stay
but you tell me no... cuz we cant do it again
that i have to get it in my head that we can only be friends
but what can i say to my heart that wont listen
it cant beat with out you... it cant function when you're missing
you look in my eyes... then u turn away
look over your shoulder and say
"Ill see you later... Jenna You'll be Okay"

you packed up, moved on
left me flat and said so long
cuz im not the one your looking for
u dont feel it in ur heart what u felt for me before

Driving slow over bridges
connecting foolish hearts by hinges
i turn the radio up real loud
i hear the song we used to sing aloud
i cant bear the fact
its now a solo act
the duet is gone
cuz she said so long

you packed up, moved on
left me flat and said so long
cuz im not the one your looking for
u dont feel it in ur heart what u felt for me before

u said i dont feel it... but I still feel it
u said its not real...but in my heart it always was....

More Quiz Results

Sun, 17 Apr 2005 18:53:43 GMT

Take the quiz: "What Cutter Fits You Best"

From Depression
you cut because you hate life and you always get depressed from alot of things and cut to make it all go away

Take the quiz: "What degree of cuts do you have? (pics!)"

3rd degree: Mild cuts
This type usually goes past the first layer of skin and into the fat layer. Some bleeding occurs, maybe a trickle and scabbing. Scars are left but are usually thin and superficial, rarely lasting more than a year tops. Your tool may be some type of pin, a knife, or generally any sharp edges (torn cans, flimsy blades from disposable leg razors, even plastic). This is the middle stages of cutting, around when addiction starts kicking in.

Take the quiz: "What's your symbol?"

Heartagram
Either you are a HIM fan, a mellow rocker, or you just didn't fit in with any other symbol. You are a Heartagram. Congrats.....Hey have you listened to Razorblade Romance recently? It's what I'm listening to right now....you should be too!

Take the quiz: "How emo are you?"

Holy Shit Your Emo
Holy shit you actually are emo! Congratulations on not being a poser

Take the quiz: "Which Screamo/Emo singer are you? (PICS)"

Buddy Nielsen
you have to have one of the best voice/scream in the world. and Congrats! you just made my day!